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Daily Tea Time begins promptly at.m. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.). Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)! The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. God Save the Queen! Unregistered, 08:45 PM, a message from THE queen, to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth. It's been driving us mad.

You will cease playing American football. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. You must tell us who killed JFK. There is no such thing.S. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. Get used. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize.'.

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We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly 10/US gallon. In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. You will learn to make real chips. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. Internet dating voor sex sex advertensie

Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries. With proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour 'favour 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'. Tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Since only.1 of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Further, you will stop playing baseball. An internal revenue agent (i.e. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists.

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